project: reclaim old nesh

lols at my last two years - really how do you reduce a decade?

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 06:19:46 GMT

2008 –completely miserable, someone never called me again (douche), discovered flight of the concords at xmas when I was trying to learn accounting, got my hair cut short, got a new incredible back pain, sat a shitload of law exams, failed 3/6 of the main ones pretty much, got really depressed and failed some more, spent everyday wishing I could get out of London, went to Syria, met hussama, sat and passed some resits, moved to syria

in Syria, had sooo much fun, hung out with hussama, laughed SO much, taught kids English = made me sooo tired = adrenaline, spent xmas with my dad

2009 - dad had a heart attack, re did level 2 arabic, met some awesome people, nick alex nils Sergio, met alex, had lots of house parties, hijacked my parents cars and villa, learned to cook apple crumble and roast potatoes, sat and failed a law resit, got the bum injection, had sex, tried to run away, got married, sat my law exam, moved to America, finally passed law school, current status: unemployed.

wow big new awesome amazing futuristic library

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 20:13:22 GMT

these are the dvd's im getting out today [rather than getting the books on the topics i came for]

MANDATE - The President and the People
OUR CONSTITUTION - A Conversation
KEY CONSTITUTIONAL CONCEPTS
Riding in Cars with boys
STATE LEGISLATURE
FINANCIAL RECOVERY
Kite Runner

shop score

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 21:50:39 GMT

i just paid $25 in urban outfitters for $140 worth of stuff [ha, in otherwords, 3 items - lol]

i got this awesome massive jumper/coat/cardigan that was $78 for just $10!! wtf???

finally my dream came true the bargain basement was all 50% off the sale price, finally can fucking afford something down there...

fire, keggers, and amy winehousen

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 03:25:07 GMT

today i had this big toaster fire in the kitchen
only here they don't have toasters they have like these 'broilers' that serve as toasters too
so i basically had this fire in a box
i freaked out and couldnt remember what you do in an emergency fire, and i wanted to go and ask google or youtube but i couldnt because i had this real life emergency on my hands. and was shit scared cos the notice by the elevator, i mean lift, i mean elevator, says something about how ONLY THE FIREMEN CAN TURN THE FIRE ALARMS OFF, even if the fire is over. and then i was thought about how they probably charge you £1098324953429487 for calling the fire brigade out, and

anyway i wanted to put it out with a water soaked tea towel - but then you can't put water on electrical fire. but then it was just the toasts on fire, seriously a box of fire fuck.

in the end it was dying down but not fast enough so i had to do the tea towel water thing - but both toasts were completely ablaze. seriously these things are like on arrested development that design fault corn dog maker, everythings a fuckinghazard.

tomorrow ive been invited to my first american party
and on saturday it will be my first halloween. Ive been invited to a real american KEG PARTY and theres even gonna be a luge
luuuuuuge
luuuuuuge

with jocks omg

i will have to go as amy winehouse because i guess that won't be as popular out here, and since i can do really good 'NOOOooooo siimon' impressions why not.

you know youre in America when...

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 22:06:56 GMT

so today i got to Harvard train station - and they werent letting anyone exit on the stairs or escalator - i was worried that maybe someone got stabbed or shot or something.

no. i had to use the lift and it took me out to ground level - we stepped out to walk straight into a Ben Afflek film shoot - it was really surreal.

i was waiting ages outside a on the otherside of the street because we were supposed to meet the real estate lady there - and then he saw some hot hollywood blond walk accross the street with a really clean shaven Ben Afflek - it was really weird. he was clearly trying to get away playing 'normal\ - but nobody else LOOKS like THAT. maybe he had a tonne of foundation and make up on him - cos he really did look like he just stepped off a film set.

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 02:19:55 GMT

too cold to up.date.

but Melissa's family are all 500% as awesome as she is!

thank you melissa - we're having a wonderful honeymoon! your efforts have gone a very long way!

i keep meaning to call but i know youre busy - so i keep missing the prime time
i know youre going to see Žižek though!

xxx

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 02:15:33 GMT

too cold to up.date.

but Melissa's family are all 500% as awesome as she is!

thank you melissa - we're having a wonderful honeymoon! your efforts have gone a very long way!

em-i-gration. touched for the very first time.

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 19:06:02 GMT

hello on monday i will be emigrating to Boston

i will miss my mum and my cat. and you.

we're going to stay in a hotel for the first two nights, to get back to our honeymoon -
the ace thing is that there will be towels [so don't need to pack those...] and free local calls, so we will be able to hitup everyone on craigslist for free on the old blower. then we need to find a place to live, and then i have to apply for a work permit which will take up to 90 days to process, i will be paying $350 for the privilege. mlergh.

i have started another weblog to document this because lots of people keep asking me, but for sure it will be boring because the kind of people whove been asking me include, my dad, my mom, alex's mom... so boring it is.

http://andsotoboston.wordpress.com

its got some crap writing on it. already. but obviously im not there yet so none of it is going to be interesting. i suck at seeing people before i go, i just want to spend all my time with my mom, cos im a ween.

Im looking forward to hopefully seeing melissa though, thanks for the help!!

homecoming

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 21:32:01 GMT

hello i got married.
im coming back to ingland tomorrow.
i am excited to see my cat.
maybe i will have a party in my parents newly refurbished house.
i have to study hard cos if i fail this resit i fail my whole course.
i hope i see rita, laura, charlie, dan yates, first and then everyone else at somepoint.
i think alex will like to meet chris heathcoat cos he's such a twirp.
oh also syma i would like to see you - do you need any cigarettes? i know i need some vogues...
but i don't want to get swine flu because i dont want to fail and i've alread come back specially to the uk three times this year to try and conquer this resit. oh my god. qwhat a loser...

i still hate facebook.

Wed, 20 May 2009 08:27:29 GMT

Hi Neshy,
You haven't been back to Facebook recently. You have received notifications while you were gone.

399 messages
108 photo tags
6 event invites
13 pokes
40 friend requests

i cant access facebook in syria AT ALL - even proxy sites dont work anymore, i think i may have even forgotten my password and login information...

'talented ugly person baffles world'

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 19:31:18 GMT

so i dont have time to battle with the internet on a daily basis
and i dont get to see much/ANY news ever
its strange its a bit dersert island discs, without the discs, the bible, the complete works of shakespear or whatever
actually its not like desert island discs cos its not really a desert island with nothing to do...

anyway getting to the point, everytime i look at news websites im distracted by ludicrous sounding headlines like
'TALENTED UGLY PERSON BAFFLES WORLD'

and i think about what other ludicrous shit im missing out on and whats this 'WORLD' they speak of... i don't want to know what the worlds gonna be like when i ever go back.. it will be no doubt like waking from a coma - oh my god.

but in better news i just found a knusper german cafe where they have internet biggenough that i just streamed [without it even stopping] some footage from the internet - so my hermitage might be coming to a new dawn
excellent. i now know what said talented ugly person [who isnt that ugly really] sounds like - it was pretty surprising i wanted her to sound like beyonce but anyway...
i need a reintroduction into society.

hellobyebye II

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 00:17:06 GMT

im a douche for booking my ticket back to s too soon - i didnt even get to see rita... suckass.
miss you

i really don't know what im doing.

x

i have the packing for (maybe) 8 months nightmare before me... and bye bye facebook

Saudis are funny it must really suck to live there

Sun, 22 Feb 2009 00:37:10 GMT

Omg so my cousin aforementioned
is from Saudi
he's just said the funniest thing
"do you know counterstrike
I used to play that on a professional level
I was on the best team in Saudi " I made a lot of money from it i just played it to kill time maybe 14hours a day cos in Saudi theres nothing to do you can't go to the mall unless you enter with a family you can't even play outside or walk on the streets

wait they don't love you like I love you

Sun, 22 Feb 2009 00:18:43 GMT

so I'm in hard rock cafe and they have free Internet
and they just played deftones on about a billion tv's and thNks to about a billion people having their birthdays in here right now I just discovered that this new cousin that I just met Has their birthday on the same day as mine

I used to think this place was so naff and now I think its soooooo cooool
but its still naff but everythings much cooler when you're a tourist

this is the sound of loneliness turned up to ten....

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 17:40:15 GMT

so i had to go on an unbareable exercise walk with heartattack dad - thank god he didnt talk to me about anything - other than priming me on being on my best behaviours when tomorrow from saudi
this arrives

this is my cousin - already once before documented on this journal but that was probably about 3 or 4 years ago - so im allowed to rehash old photos... man. i need to use the livejournal capacity for bitching and venting because of said pledge of best behaviour.
this girl is a total TESTA DI CAZZO omg - so annoying. when i met her about 4 years ago for the first time, she basically didnt give me the time of day because i wasnt into shopping and materialistic things and i didnt have 'stuff' - i.e my humble shoestring student loan budget wasnt good enough for her... [or maybe just cos i was a loser who was more interested in books and reading and slightly more mentally stimulating conversation and stuff...]
she's super blue blooded [totes not fair] - firstly she's the daughter of my dads half sister - slightly closer than half tho - since her father is my dads half uncle... yeah that one, - the one whose mother is a saudi princess... the lineage that totally missed my dads batch of the family. nice. anyways - if that wasnt enough - on her fathers side she is related to the shah of persia... [ok so he died, but they get this mad wicked stipend from the iranian government to live off...]

god one week of revision interrupted by this:

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 00:18:47 GMT

man i totally failed at running away. the trick with running away is to not return... oh well...

funny things that germans say

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 01:23:13 GMT

you can put a cow in an armani suit - but it won't have STYYYYLE

if you put a TIGER in an armani suit then thats style...

because im the best sister in the world...

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 00:01:59 GMT

omg my little bro didnt tell me he used msn - i could have been chatting to him all this time.... but i found this wicked conversatino which he's been having with his other little 13 year old friends - and it just sent me into a fit o a coughing fit that is... of hilarioty

HALF WAY LINE sent 05/02/2009 21:49:
Because u have seen this u will get Snogged on friday by the love of ur life and tomorrow will be the best day of ur life however if u dont send this to 20 people by 10 tonight u wil have bad luck for the rest of ur life just copy and paste
khaled says:
Because u have seen this u will get Snogged on friday by the love of ur life and tomorrow will be the best day of ur life however if u dont send this to 20 people by 10 tonight u wil have bad luck for the rest of ur life just copy and paste

You have just sent a nudge.

khaled says:
i hate u man
HALF WAY LINE says:
lol pandas
khaled says:
why did u make me send that
HALF WAY LINE says:
lol
HALF WAY LINE says:
PANDAAAAAAAAAS
khaled says:
theyre even better than penguins
khaled says:
threr chineese bears
HALF WAY LINE says:
naaaa man penguins are sicccc
khaled says:
wanna buy dvd
HALF WAY LINE says:
looooooool
khaled says:
how bout som chicken chow mein
khaled says:
noooodle
HALF WAY LINE says:
but pigeos are just the gangsters of all birds
khaled says:
ye
khaled says:
and grizleee bears
khaled says:
r the somali pirates of bears
khaled says:
give me ur ship or i throw rcks at u
HALF WAY LINE says:
lol
khaled says:
and head butt u with my big forehead
HALF WAY LINE says:
loooooooooooooool
khaled says:
khaled out
HALF WAY LINE says:
sfwe

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 22:05:16 GMT

noooooooooooooooooooo the boy phoned and the line was indecipherable.

5 minutes ago i wrote that...

yyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay the boy phoned and it worked. and he gave me his facebook password...???

ok IM BACK

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 11:50:29 GMT

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6733994

omg lilmuslim
islam+DIY = JOKES!±!!

totes getting the arabic alphabet tote...

im back in england. yesterday when i left syria it was sunny and now its all SNOWDAY and omg i havent seen snow for years...
i miss syria already and can't wait to go back - everything just got super crazyamazing in the last couple of days...
thats like always the way right... omg there was so much lol... will write later + PHOTOTIME

alefbetamaxura

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 14:55:40 GMT

I blates have my final arabic exam tomorrow – som im blates gonna update shway

So I came up with a new Arabic related shitty band name idea

ALEF BETAMAX-SURA

[rita, that ones for you, I hope you get it… youre smart so of course you will]
[for non-ritas: theres a letter sorta in the alphabet called alef maxsura… blablabla… geek. do themath]

this month has been so rad. It will never be this good again. My Arabic still pretty much sucks tho so I should be revising but

so my housemate Nadia got hepatitis A – and just left to go back home to England for the two weeks she has to rest it off

its been dramadramadrama. But such laughs. Man theres so much that has gone undocumented…maybe should save that for after the exam hey.

I retardly redid level 2 arabic but in exchange I got the most badass class ever. I really really really don’t want to leave, its just getting good. In this pre-exam procrastinational instalment I will just introduce one character for now and then more later…[ive developed loads of fictional crushes just to help the time pass by, but character number one isn’t one of them… he’s ace nonetheless so…]
Niels is this tall ‘nobleman’ looking german with perfect straight blond hair, but he can speak Turkish and listens to r’n’b and has a life fetish on Justin timberlake [so he be the SNAPPIEST dresser you’ll ever see in Syria… omg]. He has the funniest deadpan accent which makes everything sound like its been said with perfect comic timing. He goes to breakdancing lessons at the Russian cultural centre or something [yeah lol] – none of him makes sense – I love it. He does rock climbing too – and so I found out through him that the place on the mount that the villa is on is like small time renowned for rock climbing. We went, but the rock was like climbing a serrated knife so I chickened out in the knowledge of what eternal hand sore pain is all about… I did some bouldering instead. Climbing mountains is the shit. We hi-jacked my moms car to get there it was totally worth whatever amounts of trouble im going to get into… eventually… then we stayed in the villa – basically in the kitchen as the place is like ice. But it was the most fun. I found some boardgames, like articulate – which we played – native English speakers against English as a second language, I was on the latter team, but guess who won and guess whose the most badass at being succinct and to the point. Oh yeah. [not me, but the others on my team, is my point…]

People out here are beginning to plan to stay indefinitely because the credit crisis blaa poo is no incentive to go back to… With my classmates we’ve started doing what I came here to do – the most awesome project imaginable – translating rap songs into Arabic fuss’ha. Although I think it feels kinda wrong translating the language of the streets into ridiculous formal Arabic which was never meant for speaking and just the preserve of staid literary useage… but anyway, it’s the fastest way to learn a language for sure…

I’ll be home in a couple of days, so hopefully pictures will follow.

I basically decided that I get into trouble with my dad/family all the time for only ever the smallest things all the time, so I’ve generally thrown caution to the wind and now my behaviour is the pits. I’ve decided that from now on [say belated 2009 resolution or something…] if im going to get into trouble, its only going to be for things that were REALLY WORTH getting in trouble for… So before the villa hi jking – we had a massive end of midterms party. Omg I thought like 4 people were going to come – since Christmas ive basically been addicted to cooking these apple crumbles [and roast potatos, yeah separate dish btw], and they seem to get better everytime, until word spread and everyone flocked down to the styx to eat apple crumble at my house. This party was banging… omg. Its what I always wanted, ive never had a party before. At the end my housemates were like, you’ve just had a 12 hour party… It started at about 4pm with everyone meeting at like 3 after the exam to get here in time for the sunset [this place has a killer mountain view] and then people started leaving at 5am, it was a little bit LONG, and then people returned when they couldn’t get a bus. And then we watched the sunrise. Ive now stopped cooking apple crumble all the time. I am all crumbled out.
Time to revise. [or fall asleep…]

Long post with a sad ending.

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 14:41:18 GMT

Its been a long while…

I got depressed for december, seems that a disposition for Christmas time depression travels boarders… I was just fighting it and hoping that a dislogic would prevail, sorry mr sad sack no visa no entry. but no. I dream too much. I didn’t want to write or write about it. I’m sorry to rita for lashing out – I was probably in denial and that’s how I cope with those things. Not good. You deserve a better more eloquently worded apology but I know either way there’s really no excuse.

Dad came to Syria for the whole month, so I prioritised staying with him to keep him company. I was worried about him, he had some money troubles and I knew they were bad but he was ultra calm the whole time, which is totally out of character for my dad, who prefers recourse to a volatile temper over the calm of rationality…

It was nice occasionally, even though I just used it as an excuse to feed my penchant for self imposed isolation and reclusion. Its strange how its only been since leaving home to live in halls that my dad started paying attention to me and my brother – he really believed the time would never come when we would be ‘gone’ and not interested in him the same way he wasn’t interested since we were born. Since then I’ve come to spend so much time living alone with him, even becoming an all time loser when over the summer I adopted his slightly dodgy friends through having to hang out with him on the edgeware road… [can you say, AY-RAAAAAAAB]

Breaking up the month of consistent low ebb depression tho was Christmas day. Yes Very odd. It as weird. Ive never celebrated Christmas. But I had the best Christmas ever. Me and two other girls from my class joked in November while singing along to the george Michael last Christmas song on my phone – that we should do something big for Christmas cos we’re so far away from home and being muslim we never really celebrate it… and it would be funny three little foreign muslim girls having a Christmas day…

The Arabic course was cancelled for December, I think cos they probably thought that foreigners like to go home/not leave their countries for Christmas, so this totally shafted the droves of people who are out to stay here a whole year. A bunch of people in my class decided to club together and have private Arabic lessons together to ensure they didn’t miss the time and could still advance into the next level above for the January courses. I knew I couldn’t do this because the course is intensive enough without condensing it even further into two and half weeks, plus I knew my dad would be here, cue: an abundance of unscheduled family obligations etc etc… terminal yawn.

So for December I was holed out in the middle cold nowhere while I felt like life for my classmates continued to see them all together and studying. But they were kind enough to remember our Christmas day pact and I got to see them. It was great, first of all cos it was in this wicked old ancient house in the centre of Olde Damascus owned by the british council, which was literally like living in a museum [omg they had theee comfiest john lewis couches shipped from England… luxxxe]. Then we tried to mock up some English cooking, I made roast potatoes [the only thing I know how to not mess up with my lack of the culinary skills…] and N made a killer apple crumble, soooo delicious. It was the most beautiful time.

New years was a blast too, we had it filipos house, being on a downer I was bummed that I was gonna have to enter 2009 2 hours before what I had signed up for at birth, which made me feel sad about being 2 hours closer to having to turn, kicking and screaming to 24… [ I warn you, incase you haven’t noticed, this place is cooking my brain up…]

So we ended up celebrating new years three times. Syrian New years had sparklers and I ran out onto their balcony in the middle of muhajjereen [this place near the French embassy and where the prez. lives…] yelling some silly shit about being a girl and wanting to yell and run about like a loon because its not allowed… I went nuts that night. Then I was afraid that maybe no one would want to know me now because of it…
Thankfully people claim the opposite to be true… yays. Homegirl needs to run and shriek and the freedom to make a tit of herself…

Oh and it RANDOMLY snowed at midnight on new years, crazy.

Then we celebrated Italian and german new year, because the party was mostly germans and a couple of Italians and then a horde of Syrians… me and N weirdly are both half Syrian half English/britishwhatever so between us we contributed ONE English person to the party… which was kinda weird…
Finally stupid English new year came – we showed them how to partay. Not. Ha

Then I spent the next couple of days moving back to my house, worrying that no one would want to come and live with me now because im a party freakout and then I had the biggest but thankfully only major tiff with my dad for doing something minute ack. Of course. But we shrieked and yelled for once and I sent a barriage of home truths his way – which has never happened before or ever been discussed. Long overdue. He did a sorry - in the only way he knows how, cos the next day he came over and brought with him a massive box of strawberries [which we both know exactly how expensive those are to get out here…] that’s my dads style, whenever he used to have a big bust up with my mom, the apology was always in the form of a £25 salmon… which I think is why I could never eat salmon when I was younger…
Seafood sorry.
Lol as if nothing says sorry like a salmon…

I dunno. I’ve just found a bunch of balanciaga and Christian dior ties in my wardrobe that belong to him from godknowswhen… secret little dandy… never for want of a valantino shirt that man, sooooo unfair…

The day after the tiff I woke up and was killed in my tracks by a lightning bolt of back pain, it was like I just took a bullet or something – I tried desperately to wish that I was just dreaming – but it didn’t work. This sucked. So the pain shit of last year is back. And its making me miserable even tho things are much better, N and M just moved into my house for the month, and theyre great housemates. Have been very tentative about getting house cohabitators cos I feel like a walking treasure chest of trust issue. So I should be happy. But I’m a big miserypoo.

Was worried the last couple of days as my dad went back to England, and the last I heard was him calling me from the airport cos his flight was overbooked cos the airline messed up – and could I sort something out with someone’s connections to fix it – and I didn’t hear how the situation got resolved.

I cant sleep much these days too well, but my last thought before sleeping last night was of how afraid I am of anything happening to my family in England, I don’t care about myself, just them. This after spending hours of angst and fury catching up on the gaza news and reading about aid workers being explicitly fired at…

This morning I was forced to call England to ask how to get oil for radiators – mum was being vague – I wanted to talk to dad – it was a simple question – and she was like – I can’t ask him till 3 o clock – I was like pffftg?
So I pried it out of her
WHY [expecting some big nonsense]
Because he’s in hospital hooked up to machines cos he had a heart attack.

Then she tried to do her – the situation isn’t as bad as it is – resolution attempt. Really annoying thing she does when she talks about her medical problems, or like last year when granddad died she only told me cos I was in new look and happened to phone her for an opinion, she said he died peacefully in his sleep. What actually happened [when I heard the truth months later] was he died in her arms no longer able to communicate. I know that’s the way she deals with these things and it helps her to be stronger, and I feel such a bad person for getting angry at these things – but then this is what venting on lj is for… - help us be a better person.

I will be back on the first of Feb [that’s only like 22 days or something but omg I pray I don’t have cause to be back sooner] but this month is going to go so fast I have so much to do and things are just getting funner, but always too tired/exhausted/paralysed to enjoy it, can't even dance. Woe = hot on my tail.

A net is just a bunch of holes tied together with string

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 19:00:31 GMT

wow dad just called and said, waddyou want shees burger anships - yay there is a god. ok i call a truce.

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 18:47:51 GMT

i just really want a cheese burger

rajool emreekeh

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 19:11:54 GMT

today mr tall american dude had to give a presentation in arabic to the class. it was lol. although he's a full on political science phd fodder - or rather because of it, he's really good at buying into ironic satire of the whole being an american in 'the axis of evil' thing to full comic effect

so the presentation was like:

FREEDOM

[in arabic you'd spell that F R Y D ' M ]
and he wrote it in red on the board [in arabic script tho, of course]

then he said - kulu shucks ouheb balady - wah -
kulu shucks ouheb freedom

which means everyone in our country loves our nation, and everyone in our country loves freedom...
that sort of thing. it was so hilarious.
then the rest of the presentation turned to Maine and portland (would have been more interesting if he was from OR...) and his fishing boat past time thing... setting traps for sharks and little lobsters... catching 100kilos of lobsters or something blabla. so funny tho.
something like water... russia - siberia...